The first week in SA was truly a thrill. SA was nothing like what I have expected. It was beautiful. A flat land surrounded by range of mountains. The sky is blue and clear with layers of clouds from low to high. The sun shine through the clouds and lays shadow on the mountain and the shadow follows as the breeze moves the clouds. Not to mention the beautiful coastline. Speaking of creation, how can one not praise God for such beautiful nature!
For the venture, the thing that really stood out in the first week was that I realized is not about how long you have been a Christian, how much you know about bible, (thought they are important) but do you truly know Christ in your heart, truly feel the love of Christ and know that He does care so much about you.
At first I thought I know what's God love is, I thought I feel his love but then I met people who is living in a different level of faith, experiencing a different level of depth in Christ's love. I realized how little I know about God and again I was blown away by that fact that his love can be so much deeper and He could be so much more.
I guess there are so many ways one can preach about the Gospel but nothing compares to those who truly love God, and embrace Him with all their heart. And even the simple conversations they make are much more powerful than all the theological explanation that people can come up with. The simple words of loving God, trusting Him comes from their mouth are filled with a depth of passion and experience that you can sense from their tone and the expression in their eyes. And when I hear them I know they truly know God!
I’ve also seen people who know so much about God in their head, know so much about bible, saying they know God's love but feeling nothing in their heart, having no faith and the same doubt and worries as though they were secular. Where have their knowledge of God gone? There is a saying that the distance between heaven and earth is just the distance between from our head to our heart. I guess that is really true.
One of the thing that we all prayed really hard on this trip was to let go of control and let’s God take charge. All of us were so stressed out in the first week because of intense schedule + jetlag and fatigue, and we all trying to make sure everything would work according to our plan, breakthrough and change would happen according to our will. Every single one of us was turning into a control freak and wanting things to happen in our timing in our way. But the Holy Spirit had spoken to us that it was not our work but God’s work to be done, and it was not about our timing but God timing to make things happen.
I couldn't help but wonder if part of the reasons (other that we really trying to help) that we were trying to control so much was that we were scared to fail, what if we couldn’t deliver what we supposed to for our clients. May be somehow we thought that our performance would define our worth, but the true is only God’s love defines us not our achievements. Our identity only comes from God alone, not other persons or other things. Paul came to understand that the greatest riches could not compare with knowing Christ and he considered all other material things to be mere garbage in comparison : "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Philippians 3:7-8).
Knowing Christ’s love for us and that we are His child gives us identity. Don’t just know it in our head, but trust in our heart that He loves us. Embrace His love and we will find Him in our heart so that we will have peace and joy in our heart.
(Matthew 22:37-38) Jesus Speaking - "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.
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